XDD!

attack of the sillies
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overly helpful employees

May 30th, 2010

I don’t think I want to shop at the downtown Office Depot anymore.
“Can I help you?”
“Nope, I’m okay, just browsing, thanks.”
(Same guy) “Can I help you now?”
“No thank you, still looking.”
“So, did you need my help?”
“No.”
I was afraid he’d start humping my leg and begging me to take him home. The guy at the register trying to sell me $5 insurance for a $5 mouse. What sharks.

okie

May 29th, 2010

Andrew pressed his forehead to mine. “There’s something important I wanted to tell you…”
Silence for several seconds. “… Sh*!”
I quipped, “Was that it?” and lo, a giggle attack was born.
“Yes, yes that was it. Augh!”
And then commenced 15 minutes of the most hysterical laughing I’ve had in YEARS.

no, just no

May 28th, 2010

Me: *hugs A from behind*
A: “Will you hang onto me?”
Me: *exclaims* “I’m a spider monkey!”
A: *pantomimes seppuku for me referring to Twilight and making him twitch*
Me: *cackles*

something’s wrong with her engine

May 27th, 2010

I watched this blond chick fight her truck as she tried to pull out into traffic, killing the engine over and over, all because she was not aware that her emergency brake was on.

steep

May 24th, 2010

I just watched a huge delivery/moving truck bomb its front bumper and undercarriage into the steep uphill ramp to our parking lot. It was loud. So was my cackling.

chagrined

May 23rd, 2010


How Stephenie Meyer writes, apparently.

just hangin’ here

May 19th, 2010

Our friend’s cat enjoys climbing the walls. Just now I was in the hallway and hidden out of view, his cat came strolling up to me, to which I held him on his back in my arms, poked his head around the corner, and waited for him to meow. Our friend looked up at the noise and had a wtf moment to see the cat hovering nonchalantly. And then I peeked my head around the corner to which friend lost it.

awesome breakfast

May 11th, 2010

You won’t like the prize you find at the bottom of a bag of bargain no-brand cold cereal. I found a black… thing on top of my bowl of frosted flakes. It was not a brown flake. It had claws and five digits. It was a mummified and sugar-coated rodent paw. Om nom, not so much.

thank you for bein–aauuuugh!

May 10th, 2010

LOL…

booing

May 8th, 2010


What would it be like for Stephenie Meyer (probably disguised, like anyone cares, lol) to sit in the audience and hear their reaction to the trailer of the new movie based on her third book?